11 Best Sites To Buy Swimsuits Online

Updated on: September 2022

Best Sites To Buy Swimsuits Online in 2022


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In Praise of Online Shopping

Afraid to shop online? Don't be. Shopping in person is much, much worse.

It's Christmastime, 2004. I'm alone and vulnerable, and I've barely gotten through the door when I see her. She's all of sixteen, her dark hair dyed a platinum blonde, her heavy eye makeup oddly frightening, and a t-shirt underneath her smock that reads something about being "2 hot". She is coming to greet me and assist with any questions I may have. I don't have any questions, only concerns. Like how I'm going to get out of there without being accosted. I try to turn away, but it's too late. She's young and she's determined, as any teenager would be working for $5.50 an hour plus commission.

She snaps her gum at me. "Hi, how are you doing today?"

"Fine, thanks." I smile and focus on some shelving units on the other side of the store.

"Do you need help with anything? Find everything you're looking for?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I'm fine, thanks."

"Well, have you heard about our sale?"

I stare at her blankly, but before I can get the word "yes" out of my mouth, she's already trying to sell me something.

They have a great fifteen for one sale going on that weekend, so I can get any fifteen of their body lotions in their "Look at me! I smell great!" line for the price of one. They also have discounted items in their new "Smell me!" line and if I apply for their store card, they'll give me 25% off my entire purchase that day only, which is 15% more than what they usually offer.

I'm still smiling, but I don't know why. I just came in to buy something, one thing, not listen to the sales pitch. I already know what I want and unfortunately, I don't care about the great "Buy fifteen for the price of one" deal going on. I don't need fifteen, I only need one. Just one. So, how about she leaves me alone to buy my one thing?

She keeps going. New scent this, updated smell that. Here a deal, there a deal, everywhere a freakin' deal. The barrage of pitches are endless. She keeps talking at me and even when I manage to inch away, she hovers over me. This is serious business. These girls are the Hell's Angels of the retail world.

I tell her I'm fine. I tell her no thanks. I tell her I'm not interested. I try to distract her by asking her a question about a product. It just makes things worse.

I give up and decide to stare at her, bore my eyes into the very depths of her soul, make her so uncomfortable she has to stop. She does, but only because she's run out of great offers.

She asks me if I'm sure I'm not interested. I'll be saving a bundle if I just take fifteen instead of one. I've done the math and I'm pretty sure she is lying to me. I tell her I have everything I need. She looks devastated, but only until a mother with three screaming toddlers enters the store. New, significantly slowed down, distracted prey. She's hit the jackpot.

I manage to make it up to the counter with my single purchase and there's another salesgirl happily waiting for me. She asks me if I've heard about their great deals.

How could I not have?

But just in case I've forgotten that I'm missing out on a great deal, she reiterates and asks me again if I'm sure I don't want to purchase fifteen for the price of one.

I say it again. No. Thank you.

I try to give her my credit card but she's not finished. Now they have a new lip gloss.

Oh, goody, just what I need.

They come in all kinds of shades from peach blossom to frosty plum to rubyliscious red. She takes my hand and smears some on it so I can see how pretty the colors are. I never gave her permission to smear anything on me.

I wonder why she won't just take my money and let me leave. Please.

One more thing. I have heard about their new "Smell me!" line, haven't I?

Yes. Yes, I have. I didn't miss that part.

Personal testimony time. Oh, how little Miss Cashier Lady loves the rose petal scent, let her tell me all about it.

When she finishes, my eyes are glazed over and my nose is on scent overload. She smilingly takes my card and charges me for my worthless purchase.

Thank you? For what, I'm not sure.

And there's one last thing. Of course. It's another new scent. Do I mind if she sprays it on my bag so everything that comes in contact with it for weeks afterward will reek of over-ripe coconuts?

Sure. What the heck. Go for it.

She sprays, she nods, she smiles. She thanks me and wishes me a happy holiday.

I smile, I nod, I fight the urge to smack her across her lip gloss ridden face and I leave.

This, is why I shop online. Radiation? Stalking? Sucking your brain dry? I've experienced much worse my friend, much worse.

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